The manifesto of nothing.

1. 001You found this page. That is the entire reward. There is no second reward.
2. 002Nothing is the oldest product in existence. It predates commerce, agriculture, and regret.
3. 003Nothing requires no packaging, which makes it the most sustainable item ever sold.
4. 004Nothing has never been recalled. Its safety record is flawless.
5. 005Nothing has no competitors, because every competitor is also selling nothing, only less honestly.
6. 006Nothing scales infinitely. We can supply the entire planet by lunchtime, and already have.
7. 007Nothing has no expiry date. It was already expired, and also never began.
8. 008Nothing cannot be counterfeited. Every imitation of nothing is simply nothing.
9. 009Nothing is the only purchase that will never disappoint you, because expectation is not included.
10. 010Nothing does not require assembly, batteries, updates, an account, or your attention.
11. 011Nothing has never been reviewed poorly. It has never been reviewed at all.
12. 012If you read this far, you have now spent time on nothing, which is more than most people invest.
13. 013This paragraph exists purely to make the page longer. It has succeeded.
14. 014There is no conclusion. That would be something.

You may now return to the store and continue buying nothing at the standard rate.